A friend avers that if Richard St Vier were alive today, he would be Tom Brady. "But I know football's not your fandom," she kindly adds, "so I won't go into it."
And RPF is emphatically not *my* fandom. Nevertheless, there's some tiny and perverse part of my brain that can't help wondering where the Tom Brady/Randy Moss fic is. Because I find it difficult to believe that there isn't any.
Real Person Fic? Or something else starting with F. I believe RPS is Real Person Slash. (Any character you can think of, someone has written fic about them. Any topic or characteristic you can think of, someone has named a specific subcategory for it. Any character combination or category you can think of, someone has come up with an acronym for it. This is what the internet has taught me.)
I see people have already explained the abbreviation. So I return only to note that like the Bush/Cheney fic, it's probably out there somewhere. Especially given the story, which to my limited-and-possibly-inaccurate knowledge goes roughly as follows:
Moss joined the team this year, after a career path elsewhere marked by a Bad Attitude and a habit of being . . . less than discreet about what he regarded as the failings of his teammates. There were eyebrows raised when the Patriots signed him, despite his undoubted talents. But against the skeptics' predictions, he and Brady totally bonded; what Brady has said is basically that the thing with Moss is that he's one of the smartest guys he's ever met, and doesn't handle being surrounded by idiots at all well.
Which I might dismiss as pure spin, were it not that I understand that last night, after the game, Moss was asked about the receiving record he broke last night -- and told the press that he didn't particularly care about having broken another player's record. But, he told the press corps, it was still a positive for him, because now perhaps they would finally find something more interesting to talk about. Sounds familiar, if familiar in a distorted-mirror kind of way, don't you think?
I know nothing about professional football (I tend to absorb a little about college football, through osmosis of family members who are highly invested in it). So I asked my brother his opinion, since he was sitting in the room and does, unlike me, follow sports.
He says he likes Brady because he's restrained and doesn't do a lot of ads. But Moss is "a prick and a half".
No, no! That makes Moss more like Alec. An Alec born into very different circumstances, obviously. But nevertheless: too purely intelligent for his presumed peer group, incapable of tolerating it when people around him refuse to make the effort (in any given direction) that he thinks they should be making, incapable of tolerating shoddy thinking, impatient of social convention, and a rotten loser.
Moss is a great football player. Even if you think he's an asshole -- and plenty of people do -- you wouldn't compare him to poor Hugo.
As for the goat, why not? Goats are pretty damned adorable. And his insurers and his team probably wouldn't let him cuddle a baby tiger for photographers, you know?
Awww, Hugo's not so bad. *cuddles* (Alec the football player sounds absolutely Terrifying. XDDD) And, nawww, Moss sounds like a pretty cool guy. No insult meant and all that. This has completely opened my eyes: I had no idea intelligent football players existed! :D
Oh, dear, and now I have to apologize -- I never meant that to sound as though I might be even remotely offended! Please believe that I never saw so much as a hint of an insult. I was just off in my Explanatory Mode, trying to explicate my original analogy.
(Also, it is entirely possible that Moss is, as Brigdh's brother says, a prick and a half. All I know is the fragments I pick up while watching the games, and that's not much.)
One of the reasons I like football is that at least some of the players have to be smart as hell, because the game is actually a whole lot like chess, only played very fast by pieces who each have to execute their moves with ballet-like precision in the face of what amounts to armed opposition. Not everybody in the game's that smart, obviously -- but it's been said fairly frequently that one of the things that makes this year's Patriots so remarkable is that they're a brainy team right through the roster.
I keep telling people, football's the spectator sport for American geek chicks. I can't say I convince very many people, but that's okay: Brady seems to be doing a nice job for me.
Having just witnessed a very lovely, if minorly disappointing for the Pats, Superbowl, I must say that you were right and you are always right and you shall always be right on all matters concerning football voyeurism.
That grass stain on Tom Brady's shiny silver right buttock shall stay with me for the rest of my life. *dreamy sigh*
Ah, well. In that case I feel it would be unfair of me not to link you to this, which popped up on my IJ flist a few hours ago.
I haven't checked out any of the stories she references, mind you, and I'm not vouching for them. I merely cackle, and note their existence. And I'm surer than ever that that Brady/Moss fic is out there somewhere -- although with luck, it's somewhere that I'll never find out about and so never be tempted to peek at.
"I know football's not your fandom" -- I'm going to have to remember that one. It might help me get out of the Sports Conversations with the Very Nice But Oh So Very Basketball And Football guys at work. If nothing else, saying "football is not my fandom" will probably confuse them into a silence just long enough for me to make my exit :).
Well, the last time I spotted him (on the ferry to Staten Island), he was wearing an extremely decrepit Barbour coat (I believe it was a Beaufort), Dainese touring boots, and a ratty silk scarf. I didn't spot an edged weapon of any kind, but I suspect it was well-hidden. No hat, and the wind was blowing his hair in a most broodingly magnificent fashion.
Now, the last time I spotted Tremontaine, he and Hardhards were coming out of the Freeman's. Tremontaine was wearing a black velvet opera cape; Hardhards was wearing a WWII-era Russian Army wool great-coat, and they were arguing about whether a certain drink could still be rightly called a martini if it was made with vodka instead of gin. Tremontaine seemed to have taken a firm gin-only position, while young Hardhands was advocating that vodka was fine. There was brief mention of retiring to the Weehawken Dueling grounds to settle the question, but I think they decided to go to the Pegu Club instead.
Oh, Richard. I thought you were going to get rid of that coat. I know Barbours wear, but consider the cuffs! You can afford a new one now, you know. Yes, I realize the buttons aren't the same anymore and they've changed the lining, but - Oh, never mind. Do what you want.
And Alec - goddamit, you said you'd call me the next time Hardhands was in town!! I hate you now forever. Wait til you see what that means, chum.
Ysabeau and I are going to have some fun, now. Possibly in the country.
"Well, the last time I spotted him (on the ferry to Staten Island), he was wearing an extremely decrepit Barbour coat (I believe it was a Beaufort), Dainese touring boots, and a ratty silk scarf. I didn't spot an edged weapon of any kind, but I suspect it was well-hidden. No hat, and the wind was blowing his hair in a most broodingly magnificent fashion."
Comments
(Have mercy, momma - I only just found out what "AU" means!)
Go, Patriots!
(*Dick Cheney/Karl Rove Slash Fiction)
I couldn't read past Rumsfeld licking Bush's ear.
I can't believe I just had to write that sentence.
She's very cool, is
Moss joined the team this year, after a career path elsewhere marked by a Bad Attitude and a habit of being . . . less than discreet about what he regarded as the failings of his teammates. There were eyebrows raised when the Patriots signed him, despite his undoubted talents. But against the skeptics' predictions, he and Brady totally bonded; what Brady has said is basically that the thing with Moss is that he's one of the smartest guys he's ever met, and doesn't handle being surrounded by idiots at all well.
Which I might dismiss as pure spin, were it not that I understand that last night, after the game, Moss was asked about the receiving record he broke last night -- and told the press that he didn't particularly care about having broken another player's record. But, he told the press corps, it was still a positive for him, because now perhaps they would finally find something more interesting to talk about. Sounds familiar, if familiar in a distorted-mirror kind of way, don't you think?
He says he likes Brady because he's restrained and doesn't do a lot of ads. But Moss is "a prick and a half".
I'm very amused.
And, also: would Richard ever cuddle a goat for publicity? http://www.boston.com/yourlife/home/sty
(Not that Alec wouldn't laugh his ass off, and then ask to keep the goat. X3)
Moss is a great football player. Even if you think he's an asshole -- and plenty of people do -- you wouldn't compare him to poor Hugo.
As for the goat, why not? Goats are pretty damned adorable. And his insurers and his team probably wouldn't let him cuddle a baby tiger for photographers, you know?
*BAAAAAAAA!* X3
(Also, it is entirely possible that Moss is, as Brigdh's brother says, a prick and a half. All I know is the fragments I pick up while watching the games, and that's not much.)
One of the reasons I like football is that at least some of the players have to be smart as hell, because the game is actually a whole lot like chess, only played very fast by pieces who each have to execute their moves with ballet-like precision in the face of what amounts to armed opposition. Not everybody in the game's that smart, obviously -- but it's been said fairly frequently that one of the things that makes this year's Patriots so remarkable is that they're a brainy team right through the roster.
I keep telling people, football's the spectator sport for American geek chicks. I can't say I convince very many people, but that's okay: Brady seems to be doing a nice job for me.
That grass stain on Tom Brady's shiny silver right buttock shall stay with me for the rest of my life. *dreamy sigh*
I haven't checked out any of the stories she references, mind you, and I'm not vouching for them. I merely cackle, and note their existence. And I'm surer than ever that that Brady/Moss fic is out there somewhere -- although with luck, it's somewhere that I'll never find out about and so never be tempted to peek at.
Edited at 2008-02-06 05:30 am (UTC)
So what does he wear on the street?
Now, the last time I spotted Tremontaine, he and Hardhards were coming out of the Freeman's. Tremontaine was wearing a black velvet opera cape; Hardhards was wearing a WWII-era Russian Army wool great-coat, and they were arguing about whether a certain drink could still be rightly called a martini if it was made with vodka instead of gin. Tremontaine seemed to have taken a firm gin-only position, while young Hardhands was advocating that vodka was fine. There was brief mention of retiring to the Weehawken Dueling grounds to settle the question, but I think they decided to go to the Pegu Club instead.
For the record, I agree with Tremontaine.
And Alec - goddamit, you said you'd call me the next time Hardhands was in town!! I hate you now forever. Wait til you see what that means, chum.
Ysabeau and I are going to have some fun, now. Possibly in the country.
Um, I think that was my friend,
Edited at 2008-01-16 05:47 pm (UTC)
And for that matter, what real-world bars/slums might Tom Brady frequent...? *revvs stalking engine*
You are about to be very amused.
Yes. Yes, I have. And find myself all-around speechless in response to the total shibbiness of the situation. *homage to the Tom Brady*
Plus, truth be told, I'm more of an Alecologist. ^^;