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The letter you hope no one ever sends

I got a letter today from a relative, accusing me of something dishonorable that I would never do, and in fact could not have done.

I'm glad I'm in Brussels where there's lots to distract me from my reaction. And I'm glad I'm not 28 any more, because when this kind of thing happened then - and believe me, it did! - I would have written back a very emotional letter defending my integrity foremost; whereas now, I can just look at the facts, convey them to rel. in a straightforward way, and hope that clears things up.

My heart is really with rel., who must be feeling that someone they loved betrayed them, which is one of the worst feelings in the world.

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
just_ann_now
Feb. 18th, 2016 02:42 pm (UTC)
*pat pat* Nothing more, really, than *pat pat* to hopefully provide a measure of comfort, and also to let you know that people, or at least one person, still reads you here. *pat pat*
tournevis
Feb. 18th, 2016 04:38 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
redbird
Feb. 18th, 2016 05:55 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you (and relative) are dealing with this, and I hope that the impossibility of the accusation helps your relative accept what you said.
stephanieburgis
Feb. 18th, 2016 07:21 pm (UTC)
*HUGS* I'm so sorry you had to experience that, but I'm so impressed by the way that you're handling it.
h33domareres
Feb. 18th, 2016 08:35 pm (UTC)
Who sends letters in these days anyway ?
deborahjross
Feb. 18th, 2016 08:48 pm (UTC)
So very sorry this happened, from all angles: your relative to feel this way and you to be accused.

I think one of the unspoken gifts of getting older (we are of an age) is the ability to see things from a perspective that goes beyond "it's all about me." To be able to feel hurt and angry, and yet also feel compassion for the other person.

dragonsally
Feb. 19th, 2016 01:14 am (UTC)
This! Very much this.
swan_tower
Feb. 18th, 2016 08:59 pm (UTC)
I'm impressed that you're able to focus on the pain your relative must be feeling. 35 is apparently not old enough for me not to be frothing at the mouth on your behalf, imagining how I would feel if faced with a similar accusation.
topum
Feb. 18th, 2016 11:00 pm (UTC)
Tough thing to deal with. I had to once too.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 19th, 2016 12:49 am (UTC)
yes, continue to embrace that important space as to not take in the hurt that was dished out to you. sheila
engarian
Feb. 19th, 2016 02:18 am (UTC)
How difficult - for her and for you. I love the fact that although you originally felt affronted, you calmed down and handled things in such a beneficial way. I hope when your relative reads the letter, s/he also allows emotions to calm down and that s/he thinks carefully about your response.

- Erulisse (one L)
melita66
Feb. 19th, 2016 02:29 am (UTC)
I hope that the relative can see reason, and that this is not a sign of mental decline and the sometimes paranoia that comes with it. My fingers are crossed.
jay_of_lasgalen
Feb. 19th, 2016 05:51 pm (UTC)
I really hope you can clear this horrible accusation with your relative
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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